


The Frosting Contains Potassium Benzoate

by GoshdarnRabbit



Category: Future Card Buddyfight, Future Card Buddyfight Ace
Genre: Gen, Humor, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 06:49:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18686308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoshdarnRabbit/pseuds/GoshdarnRabbit
Summary: Rei Urameshi has once again hatched a plot to destroy the happiness of all around him. He's just not very good at it.





	The Frosting Contains Potassium Benzoate

Rei rubbed his gloves together, smiling as he looked upon his vile handiwork.

"Rei Urameshi, I can't believe how evil you are!" he said.

"Good work, Rei. With every curse you spread, your own happiness will increase!" said Orven.

"Eh? What have you two got there?" said Yuga, spotting the pair as they cackled over their handiwork - a huge box balanced on a wheeled trolley.

Rei's face was barely visible behind his usual icy fog. "I've been up all night making this, but it's worth it for the misfortune it will bring!"

Yuga tilted his head, puzzled as to what strange scheme Rei had to try making others miserable. He lifted up the box lid, and his eyes lit up. He could now clearly see the delicious homemade triple-layer cake Rei and his buddy were wheeling around - it even had chocolate frosting and cherries!

"Wow! You must be amazing at baking! Who is it for?"

"There's a birthday party today, at one of the children's sports teams that Masato coaches." said Rei. "And our devious plan is to give them this cake!"

"That's a good deed!" said Garga.

"On the surface it may seem like a good deed, but there are as many layers to our plan as there are layers on this cake!" said Rei.

"Three?" asked Garga.

"It's a bad deed." said Orven. "For, you see, this cake is so sweet and filling that it will ruin their appetites for dinner."

"That's bad." said Yuga. "But if treats are eaten in moderation then they're part of a balanced diet, and it's fun to have something sweet every once in a while."

"Ah, but it's so delicious that nobody would be able to stop after just a few bites." said Rei. "And it's so full of sugar that even a modest portion could make the children become hyperactive, and annoy their parents all day!

"A vile deed if I ever saw one." said Orven, nodding in approval.

"But it will give them energy to play." countered Garga.

"And they'll be even more motivated to work hard with Masato coaching them." said Yuga.

"So they'll be too tired and happy to cause any trouble, I see." finished his buddy.

"No, you see..." started Orven.

"Hmm? What are you all talking about out here?" said Masato, walking up to the two pairs of buddies (and one large cake).

"Yes, you are finally here to bear witness to my most evil plan to spread misery, for you see..." started Rei.

"Rei baked a cake." interrupted Yuga.

"Rei Urameshi, I can't believe how considerate you are!" said Masato, putting a friendly hand on Rei's (icy) shoulder. "Come and join us, we'll share your cake, for share!"

"No, it's happening again!" said Rei, shrugging off Masato's arm and concealing his face with his gloved hands. "We must escape!"

The fog surrounding Rei grew thicker, covering his buddy, and the pair vanished.

"And modest as well!" said Masato. "What a guy!"


End file.
